crashing out
A new term I've been hearing recently is "crashing out". I couldn't give you a definition of the term but I just use it interchangably with having a bad time. I'm having a bad time right now. From time to time, I'll find a little snippet of something that reminds me of a moment in time I hold close to my heart. I'll look for more of these little snippets elsewhere and try to rebuild those memories.
Tonight I saw something and it brought me back to a dark place. It was a reminder of a beautiful passing moment in my life.
I remember as I wrote your letter the palpable tension in the room drowned out the music playing through the speakers. I looked up at my phone and found you smiling back at me. We looked back at what we were doing and continued on. I left you a drawing of mine from the airport. I sealed the letter and mailed it away.
As I opened your letter, I felt amused by the way you had typed it out and printed it. You told me you did this because you wanted to keep a copy for yourself, and that you would keep it somewhere safe.
I remember losing your letter soon after that.
Sometimes I close my eyes and try to remember what you wrote to me all those years ago. And when I close my eyes, I can still hear the song that played that night. I remember the warmth and the slowing down of time. I remember your red in your face. The pit in my stomach as I'd etched my confession of love for you on paper as you cluelessly smiled at me.
When you close your eyes, do you think of me from time to time?