Hello world!
Hello and welcome to my page! I'm currently a student who is about a year away from graduation. I study computer science and love art. Sometimes I just feel like dumping my thoughts and concerns somewhere nice and quiet, so I figured I'd start here! I'll treat this as a little journal with personal entries that other people may or may not have the privilege of stumbling upon! Since this is my first post I'll give some more context on who I am.
I've been in college for almost five years now. Gone through some ups and downs (mostly downs) and have been trying to balance things out to get my degree and escape the hell that is academics. Fun fact, I've failed over a semester's worth of classes! I've been told maybe school isn't for me. I'd agree but hearing that come from other people just makes me want to get a degree more. I tend to want to do things people don't want me to do.
I love art in all forms. Written, drawn, sung, played... I kinda love it all. I'm not much of an artist myself, although I've tried a bunch of times. I feel that the heart is there but I can't physically bring myself to dedicate myself to it. I say physically but it's really all a mental thing. I still try from time to time, but whatever. I suck at art!!! Sue me. But I will always appreciate it. In terms of music, I love Mt. Eerie/The Microphones, Cap'n Jazz, Boiler room DJs, Young Jesus, Father2006, Swans. I'm kinda just throwing names out there but I love everything, mostly. I used to make and play a lot of music but my passion for that has slowly dwindled down over the years as shit got serious in life. And when shit hit the fan and I wanted an outlet for that kind of stuff, slowly I began to lose the ability to turn those feelings into art. But it's cool other people make music so that on the off chance I can relate to it and connect with it, it could change my life! I'm big into things from loud noisy emo from the late 90s to oddly uncomfortable ambient music.
In terms of written and visual arts, I can't say too much as I haven't delved into it as extensively as music. I'm a big fan of Basquiat. Kokoro by Natsume Soseki was a great book. I dip my toes into these things every once in a while and I always find great joy in it but I haven't had the time recently to really devote my time to it.
Now me, as a person, personally, at the root, the person who is writing this. I've always been a bit quiet in social settings, pretty loud as a friend, respectful to strangers, kind to everyone. It sounds pretty NPC, as I'm sure there are many people like me. But there are all kinds of people out there with nasty traits and off-putting personalities so I'd say I'm pretty alright as a human being. I can be a sensitive person at times, although I don't allow people to see that. I internalize everything, which has its ups and downs. I think I've had enough of letting thoughts sit in my brain so I've come here to will them into existence. I love to go back to old chat logs, relive old memories. I like to remember people, things, smells, tastes. Things which I hold sacred and close to my heart are rotating fans on a hot summer's day, the dust which gleams from windows in the sunlight, nicotine poops (knowing endearingly as voops), and the cubby which I study in from time to time between classes in one of my campus buildings. I like to stumble across random things and feel oddly emotional upon interaction. I never cry.